Lesson 2 – Love vs. Infatuation

“Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, doth not behave itself unseemly.” 1 Corinthians 13:4, 5.

“Love … is not unreasonable; it is not blind. It is pure and holy. But the passion of the natural heart is another thing altogether. While pure love will take God into all its plans, and will be in perfect harmony with the Spirit of God, passion will be headstrong, rash, unreasonable, defiant of all restraint, and will make the object of its choice an idol.” –The Adventist Home, p. 50.

SUNDAY

Love differs totally from infatuation

What thoughts did Amnon have regarding his sister Tamar? How unwisely does passion behave?

2 Samuel 13:1, 2 And it came to pass after this, that Absalom the son of David had a fair sister, whose name was Tamar; and Amnon the son of David loved her. 2And Amnon was so vexed, that he fell sick for his sister Tamar; for she was a virgin; and Amnon thought it hard for him to do any thing to her.

Chronicles 3:1, 9 Now these were the sons of David, which were born unto him in Hebron; the firstborn Amnon, of Ahinoam the Jezreelitess; the second Daniel, of Abigail the Carmelitess…. 9These were all the sons of David, beside the sons of the concubines, and Tamar their

Song of Solomon 2:5; 5:8 Stay me with flagons, comfort me with apples: for I am sick of love…. 5:8I charge you, O daughters of Jerusalem, if ye find my beloved, that ye tell him, that I am sick of love.

“There is but little real, genuine, devoted, pure love. This precious article is very rare. Passion is termed love.” –The Adventist Home, p. 50.

“That love which has no better foundation than mere sensual gratification will be headstrong, blind, and uncontrollable. Honor, truth, and every noble, elevated power of the mind are brought under the slavery of passions. The man who is bound in the chains of this infatuation is too often deaf to the voice of reason and conscience; neither argument nor entreaty can lead him to see the folly of his course.” –The Adventist Home, p. 51.

MONDAY

What horrible advice did a “friend” give to Amnon? When is it very unwise to follow the advice of friends?

Samuel 13:3-5 But Amnon had a friend, whose name was Jonadab, the son of Shimeah David’s brother: and Jonadab was a very subtil man. 4And he said unto him, Why art thou, being the king’s son, lean from day to day? wilt thou not tell me? And Amnon said unto him, I love Tamar, my brother Absalom’s sister. 5And Jonadab said unto him, Lay thee down on thy bed, and make thyself sick: and when thy father cometh to see thee, say unto him, I pray thee, let my sister Tamar come, and give me meat, and dress the meat in my sight, that I may see it , and eat it at her hand.
Corinthians 15:33 Be not deceived: evil communications corrupt good

Psalm 1:1 Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful.

“Our great adversary has agents that are constantly hunting for an opportunity to destroy souls, as a lion hunts his prey. Shun them, young man; for, while they appear to be your friends, they will slyly introduce evil ways and practices. They flatter you with their lips, and offer to help and guide you; but their steps take hold on hell. If you listen to their counsel, it may be the turning point in your life.” –Colporteur Ministry, p. 52.

“Satan tempts children to be reserved with their parents and to choose as their confidants their young and inexperienced companions, such as cannot help them, but will give them bad advice.” –Testimonies for the Church, vol. 1, p. 391.

TUESDAY

Through Amnon’s perfidy, what took place in the house of David’s firstborn son?

Samuel 13:6-10 So Amnon lay down, and made himself sick: and when the king was come to see him, Amnon said unto the king, I pray thee, let Tamar my sister come, and make me a couple of cakes in my sight, that I may eat at her hand. 7Then David sent home to Tamar, saying, Go now to thy brother Amnon’s house, and dress him 8So Tamar went to her brother Amnon’s house; and he was laid down. And she took flour, and kneaded it , and made cakes in his sight, and did bake the cakes. 9And she took a pan, and poured them out before him; but he refused to eat. And Amnon said, Have out all men from me. And they went out every man from him. 10And Amnon said unto Tamar, Bring the meat into the chamber, that I may eat of thine hand. And Tamar took the cakes which she had made, and brought them into the chamber to Amnon her brother.

Romans 12:9 Let love be without dissimulation. Abhor that which is evil; cleave to that which is good.

“Parents are asleep and know not that Satan has planted his hellish banner right in their households. What, I was led to inquire, will become of the youth in this corrupt age? I repeat, Parents are asleep. The children are infatuated with a lovesick sentimentalism, and the truth has no power to correct the wrong. What can be done to stay the tide of evil? Parents can do much if they will.” –Child Guidance, p. 455.

WEDNESDAY

What reprehensible action did the wicked Amnon commit against his sister? What does the law of Moses command in such a case?

Genesis 34:7 And the sons of Jacob came out of the field when they heard it : and the men were grieved, and they were very wroth, because he had wrought folly in Israel in lying with Jacob’s daughter; which thing ought not to be done.

Deuteronomy 22:28, 29 If a man find a damsel that is a virgin, which is not betrothed, and lay hold on her, and lie with her, and they be found; 29Then the man that lay with her shall give unto the damsel’s father fifty shekels of silver, and she shall be his wife; because he hath humbled her, he may not put her away all his days.

Leviticus 18:9 The nakedness of thy sister, the daughter of thy father, or daughter of thy mother, whether she be born at home, or born abroad, even their nakedness thou shalt not uncover.

“Those who seek as their chief good the indulgence of appetite and passion, are never good or truly great men. However high they may stand in the opinion of the world, they are low, vile, and corrupt in God’s estimation. Heaven has ordered that the mark of their depravity shall be written upon their very countenance. Their thoughts are of the earth, earthly. Their words reveal the low level of the mind. They have filled the heart with vileness, and well-nigh effaced there from the image of God. The voice of reason is drowned, and judgment is perverted. Oh, how is man’s entire nature debased by sensual indulgence! When the will is surrendered to Satan, to what depths of vice and folly will not men descend! In vain does truth appeal to the intellect; for the heart is opposed to its pure principles.” –(Signs of the Times, December 1, 1881) Messages to Young People, p. 66.

Hatred

THURSDAY

How did the love that Amnon claimed to have for his sister change? What did her garments and actions indicate?

2 Samuel 13:15-19 Then Amnon hated her exceedingly; so that the hatred wherewith he hated her was greater than the love wherewith he had loved her. And Amnon said unto her, Arise, be gone. 16And she said unto him, There is no cause: this evil in sending me away is greater than the other that thou didst unto me. But he would not hearken unto her. 17Then he called his servant that ministered unto him, and said, Put now this woman out from me, and bolt the door after her. 18And she had a garment of divers colours upon her: for with such robes were the king’s daughters that were virgins apparelled. Then his servant brought her out, and bolted the door after her. 19And Tamar put ashes on her head, and rent her garment of divers colours that was on her, and laid her hand on her head, and went on crying.

Ephesians 5:27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.

“True love is a high and holy principle, altogether different in character from that love which is awakened by impulse, and which suddenly dies when severely tested.” –The Adventist Home, p. 50.

FRIDAY

How did Absalom feel about his brother when he heard what had been done to his sister? And what about King David? How did he respond to the terrible injury of his daughter?

2 Samuel 13:20-22 And Absalom her brother said unto her, Hath Amnon thy brother been with thee? but hold now thy peace, my sister: he is thy brother; regard not this thing. So Tamar remained desolate in her brother Absalom’s house. 21But when king David heard of all these things, he was very wroth. 22And Absalom spake unto his brother Amnon neither good nor bad: for Absalom hated Amnon, because he had forced his sister Tamar.

“The shameful crime of Amnon, the firstborn, was permitted by David to pass unpunished and unrebuked. The law pronounced death upon the adulterer, and the unnatural crime of Amnon made him doubly guilty. But David, self-condemned for his own sin, failed to bring the offender to justice.” –Patriarchs and Prophets, p. 727.

SABBATH

How did Absalom take vengeance against his brother? When does God take certain things into His own hands?

2 Samuel 13:23, 26, 27, 32, 33 And it came to pass after two full years, that Absalom had sheepshearers in Baalhazor, which is beside Ephraim: and Absalom invited all the king’s sons…. 26Then said Absalom, If not, I pray thee, let my brother Amnon go with us. And the king said unto him, Why should he go with thee? 27But Absalom pressed him, that he let Amnon and all the king’s sons go with him…. 32And Jonadab, the son of Shimeah David’s brother, answered and said, Let not my lord suppose that they have slain all the young men the king’s sons; for Amnon only is dead: for by the appointment of Absalom this hath been determined from the day that he forced his sister Tamar. 33Now therefore let not my lord the king take the thing to his heart, to think that all the king’s sons are dead: for Amnon only is dead.

Proverbs 15:3 The eyes of the Lord are in every place, beholding the evil and the good.

Ecclesiastes 12:14 For God shall bring every work into judgment, with every secret thing, whether it be good, or whether it be evil.

“For two full years Absalom, the natural protector of the sister so foully wronged, concealed his purpose of revenge, but only to strike more surely at the last. At a feast of the king’s sons the drunken, incestuous Amnon was slain by his brother’s command….

“David had neglected the duty of punishing the crime of Amnon, and because of the unfaithfulness of the king and father and the impenitence of the son, the Lord permitted events to take their natural course, and did not restrain Absalom. When parents or rulers neglect the duty of punishing iniquity, God Himself will take the case in hand. His restraining power will be in a measure removed from the agencies of evil, so that a train of circumstances will arise which will punish sin with sin.

“The evil results of David’s unjust indulgence toward Amnon were not ended, for it was here that Absalom’s alienation from his father began.” –Patriarchs and Prophets, pp. 727, 728.

For additional study

“Imagination, lovesick sentimentalism, should be guarded against as would be the leprosy. Very many of the young men and women in this age of the world are lacking in virtue; therefore great caution is needed…. Those who have preserved a virtuous character, although they may lack in other desirable qualities, may be of real moral worth.” –The Adventist Home, p. 51.